| Cartman: |
Ma'am, I need to clear out your giggling stoners and your
drum-cricle hippies RIGHT NOW, or soon they're gonna attract something
much worse! |
|---|
| Elderly Woman: |
Ooooo.what's that? |
| Cartman: |
The college know-it-all hippies. |
|
[The neighborhood, day. A
red car pulls up to the curb. On the back window is a decal which says
"University of Colorado at Boulder" Three men and three women step out
of the car] |
| Driver: |
[wearing green jacket] Wow, my friend Brittany was right. This is a really laid-back place. |
| Woman 1: |
[wearing tan jacket] Yeah, this will be a great place to spend spring break. [Stan, Kyle, and Kenny approach them] |
| Kyle: |
Hey, let's ask them. [the boys are wearing shoulder totes with magazines peeking out from them.] |
| Stan: |
All right. [the two parties meet] 'Scuse me. [holds out a clipboard]
Hello, we are selling magazine subscriptions for our community youth
program. Would you like to help young people like us by purchasing a
subscription of your choice? |
| Driver: |
Oh wow, you guys shouldn't be doing that. Don't you know what you're doing to the world? |
| Kyle: |
Wha- whataya mean? |
| Man 1: |
[wearing a guitar over his back] You're playing into the corporate game! See, the corporations are trying to turn you into little Eichmanns so that they can make money. [the other man is busily eating chips] |
| Stan: |
Who are the corporations? |
| Woman 2: |
[a blonde with a psychedelic fish on her shirt] The corporations run the entire world. And now they fooled you into working for them. |
| Stan: |
Are you serious?? We never heard that. |
| Driver: |
We just spent our first semester at college. Our professors
opened our eyes. The government is using its corporate ties to make you
sell magazines so they can get rich. |
| Kyle: |
Ugh! Those dirty liars! |
| Kenny: |
(Sonofabitch!) [throws down his shoulder tote] |
| Man 2: |
[has finished his chips] This is a really nice town you have here. That's why the corporations are trying to use you to take it down. |
| Stan: |
Well... Well what do we do? |
| Driver: |
Just hang with us for a bit. We'll fill you in on everything you haven't been told. | | |
|
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