Because Of The Previous Incident, I Now Have This Going Through My Head.

Strangest Phone Call, EVER!

So, I get back from the barber today. As soon as I walk through the door, I am told that I need to have my secretary tell me about the phone call that came in while I was out: "Excuse me, do priests still do circumcisions?" Oy veh, someone thinks I am a moyle. (Maybe I should stop wearing the zuccetto.)

(With 'deep respect' to that paragon of integrityArlen Spector D(oofus)-PA.)

Oh, The Humanity!

It was bad enough when "Skanks and the City" was on Showtime and all the mags ran stories on how wonderful it was. (Wonderful. Yeah right, a series about women who make Paris Hilton look deep.) Then it was rerun slightly edited on broadcast TV. Then there was a theatrical movie. NOW they are making a sequel.

Christopher Walken's Three Little Pigs

Hail To The King!

Check out The Curt Jester's post on It's a thriller for evidence as to why Jesterius Magnus is the King of All Bloggers. (Now, if someone could only get it into Opie's hands....)

I Love This Commercial.

It Hasn't Happened, Yet.

During the Easter Season, I always use the Sprinkling Rite at the Sunday Masses. I keep waiting for someone to explode when the Holy Water hits them. No one has; yet.

Happy #$%@@^%@, @^^@%@ Earth Day!

Things I plan to do to celebrate Earth Day:
1. Use a whole bag of Styrofoam cups.
2. Go grocery shopping and request both paper and plastic bags.
3. Flush the toilet twice each time it's used.
4. Leave all my lights on (and no, none of them are compact fluorescent).
5. Eat bean and cabbage soup (that ought to increase my carbon footprint).
6. Drive my SUV.
7. Cut down some trees (no, really).

That should be Batshit Crazy enough for you. (I can't believe I wasn't nominated the Batshit category in the 2009 Cannonball Awards.)

"Notre Dame President Clueless"

(from LifeSite News: gotta read LifeSite News because baby-killing, amateur proctologist priest Raymond Gravel doesn't want me to.)

SOUTH BEND, Indiana, April 21, 2009 (LifeSiteNews.com) - University of Notre Dame president Fr. John Jenkins heaped fuel on the fire yesterday by gushing that President Obama's highly controversial platform at the school's commencement would be a "tremendous event" for Notre Dame.

"We are very proud and honored to welcome the first African-American President of the United States in a few weeks as our commencement speaker," said Fr. Jenkins at a town hall meeting celebrating 60 years of black student-athletes at Notre Dame, according to the South Bend Tribune. Obama will also be receiving an honorary law degree from the school during the May 17 commencement exercises.

This guy is clueless; absolutely, irrevocably, and amazingly clueless. (BTW Father, pride is a sin.)

Did I Miss Something?

In a comment on the previous post regarding Punctuality, Ellen, said the following:
Oh, and leaving Mass to use the bathroom is now an Olympic sport.

Well, that sport seems to have spread rapidly, everywhere. No, I am not talking about little kids or older folks with bladder control issues. These are normal, health people who should be able to hold their water for an hour, or at least remember to go beforehand. It is particularly disturbing when they get up for their potty break during the Eucharistic Prayer. In effect they are saying, "Hey Jesus, hold that thought. I will be right back."

This reminds me of a story I heard in a previous parish. A retire Jesuit priest was working as the parochical vicar at Notre Dame in Price, Utah. His name was Fr. Joseph Schue. (It is pronounced Shoe. This is a parish with a permanent deacon named Dean Foote. Honest, I am not making this up.) Anyway, Father Schue noticed and got more and more disgusted the constant procession to the restroom during Mass. He finally lost it and said, "Did I miss something in the last 20 years? Did bladders suddenly get smaller?"

Hmmmm, maybe we did miss something.

Happy Quasimodo Sunday

Quasi modo geniti infantes, alleluia: rationabiles, sine dolo lac concupiscite, alleluia, alleluia, alleluia. -- Exsultate Deo adjutori nostro: jubilate Deo Jacob.

Punctuality...

is not a virtue common in Utah. (Somehow I think it is related to the inability of the state's inhabitants to use the turn-signal lever for anything other than hanging an air freshener, but I haven't figured out the exact connection.) Go to a movie, the theater, or any other event and a good portion of the folks come sauntering in late. Some folks joke about it and call it MST: Mormon Standard Time. But, let me tell you, it isn't limited to members of the local predominant religion. A fair number of my parishioners come to Mass late, habitually. It is so bad at our 11:30 am Sunday Mass that I am thinking of changing the name to the 11:45 am Mass (I'll still start it at 11:30). I can cope with it, but I wish they wouldn't stroll down the center aisle as if nothing were wrong. It is most annoying at Weddings and Funerals. They may have no respect for the Church, but at least they should have some for the deceased/couple. Perhaps they think if they arrive early, lightning will strike them or something.

News Coverage Of New Notre Dame Campus Group.

Click here.

I Wouldn't Want To Be Them.

(From CNS)

Georgetown Says It Covered Over Name of Jesus to Comply With White House Request

Georgetown University says it covered over the monogram “IHS”--symbolizing the name of Jesus Christ—because it was inscribed on a pediment on the stage where President Obama spoke at the university on Tuesday and the White House had asked Georgetown to cover up all signs and symbols there.

Everyone who acknowledges me before others I will acknowledge before my heavenly Father. But whoever denies me before others, I will deny before my heavenly Father.
--Matthew 10: 33

Spring Miscellany.

Skateboarders. It must be spring because the little illegitimate sons are back. We had to run off the same group twice on Holy Saturday. I am thinking of placing a bounty on their heads. It would have been so much simpler in the good old days when I could have a) loaded up a shotgun with rock salt and let em have it or b) went to speak with their fathers and they would have let em have it.

Warm Weather Dress. Time to speak about appropriate attire at Mass again. It is getting warmer and a young man showed up at the Easter Vigil wearing a Hooters t-shirt. Parents please check your kids before you let them leave the house.

First Seminary Friend Made A Monsignor.

I received word not too long ago that Fr. Harvey Fonseca of the Diocese of Fresno was made a monsignor. Harvey is a superb priest who left a promising career in politics to enter the priesthood. He was a couple of years ahead of me, but a great friend.

Congratulations Msgr. Fonseca!

Holy Week Schedule.

The Famous Father Z (official personality cult zuccetto spin) has a neat post with a parish's Holy Week schedule from 1943. Here is mine:

Holy Monday: 8:30 am Mass, Confessions 3-5 pm, 6:00 pm Mass, Penance service at the neighboring Jesuit (the good kind) parish.
Holy Tuesday: 8:30 am Communion Service (I had to cancel Mass so I could attend Fr. Flegge's funeral--always attend the funeral for a brother priest), Confessions 3-5 pm, RCIA class 7-8:30 pm, Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament 9 am- 9 pm.
Spy Wednesday: 8:30 am Mass, Confessions 3-5 & 7-8 pm, 6:00 pm Mass in the Extraordinary Form.
Holy Thursday: Confessions 3-5 pm, Mass of the Lord's Supper 7 pm (with the washing of the feet of 12 men), Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament 9 am- 6 pm.
Good Friday: Confessions Noon-3pm, Solemn Stations of the Cross 3:00 pm, Liturgy of the Lord's Death 7:00 pm.
Holy Saturday: Easter Vigil (with preparation of the fire taking up a good part of the the afternoon).
Easter Sunday: Mass--8:00 am, 9:30 am, 11: 30 am. Nap 1:00 pm.

(I don't hear Confessions on Holy Saturday. I know that I could, but really need the time to get ready for the Vigil.)

What's Opera Doc?

Thanks to BMP at Christus Vincit for finding this post of my alt time favorite Bugs Bunny cartoon. "Kill the Rabbit" to the tune of Ride of the Valkyries. (BTW does anyone else find Bugs in drag more than a little creepy.)

Clowns Are Creepy, But Mimes Are Just Plain Evil.

Found over at Al the Cat's:

This was announced at the Masses last Sunday & in the bulletin of a DBQ parish for the last 2 weeks:

"The Passion will be proclaimed in mime at the 4:15 Saturday Mass and 9:30 Sunday Mass." (emphasis mine for those who may miss it.)

Thus demonstrating the pressing need for the crack, Marine Force Recon trained Liturgical Intervention Strike Force.

+ Father William Flegge R. I. P.

Father William Henry Flegge died early this morning, Saturday, April 4, 2009 at his residence. Family and friends were with him. He died peacefully in his sleep. As you may know, he has been suffering from cancer for some time.

The vigil for Father Flegge will be held at the Cathedral in Salt Lake City, on Monday evening, April 6 at 7:00 PM. The funeral Mass will be on Tuesday morning, April 7, at 11:00 AM in the Cathedral. Burial will be at Mount Calvary Cemetary.

Father Flegge celebrated his 79th birthday last Monday. He was born in Magna, Utah on March 30, 1930 and ordained a priest of the diocese on April 30, 1960 in the Cathedral. He is survived by his sister and other relatives.

During his priestly ministry he taught at Judge Catholic High School for nine years, served as parochial vicar at several parishes. He provided sacramental ministry for Central Utah and served as pastor at Our Lady of Guadalupe Parish, Salt Lake City, Saint James in Ogden, Saint Francis of Assisi, Orem and Our Lady of Lourdes in Salt Lake City. Father Flegge retired in 2008.

UHF Conan The Librarian

Conan the Barbarian - What is best in life?

Iowa? Iowa?!?! Iowa!!!

California, I can understand. It has Berzerkely. It is the granola bowl. Massachusetts, I can understand too. I don't expect too much from a state that would repeatedly elect either Teddy Kennedy, Barney Frank, or Robert Drinnan. BUT IOWA????

B.O.H.I.C.A.

Just paid my 2008 Utah State Taxes (aka tribute to the Utah Education Association) , the remains of my 2008 Federal Taxes, and my first quarter federal estimated taxes for 2009.
Thanks for the middle class tax cut Barry!

Prayer Requests

Please include in your prayers both my bishop, the Most Reverend John C. Wester, who will be undergoing surgery next week, and Father William Flegge, a priest of my diocese and a previous pastor of my parish, who is in the final stage of cancer.

Card Checkin'

Think That Last Post Boosted My Score.

The Term "Seriously Evil Bitch"

is well warranted for "The Rev." Katherine Hancock Ragsdale, newly appointed President and Dean of the Episcopal Divinity School in Cambridge, Massachusetts. Diogenes points out this little ditty from one of her sermons:

Let me hear you say it:
Abortion is a blessing and our work is not done.
Abortion is a blessing and our work is not done.
Abortion is a blessing and our work is not done.

Honestly, how can anyone take seriously a "church" that would allow a person like that to minister let alone be appointed to a position of authority. Oh wait, the 'flagship' university of my own Church in this country is honoring the most pro-abortion president ever. Never mind.

There Is No US Church.

There is however the Church in the US.

This observation brought about by the title of an article, " A Critical Moment: Barack Obama, Notre Dame and the future of the U.S. church", in the Journal of the Religious Barry O'Bama Fan Club aka America Magazine by the retired Archbishop of SF John R. Quinn. (I have mixed feeling about His Grace. On the one hand, his theology is problematic to say the least. On the other, he preached the best homily on the priesthood I have ever heard. This was at the SLC 1994 Chrism Mass. At the Mass, Quinn also refused to water down the re-commitment of priestly promises by adding the laity, religious, and deacons.) The jist of the article seems to be that if the invitation is withdrawn it will make people think badly of the Church. He also inserts a little non sense that, "Will the banishment of the first African-American president from Catholic university campuses be seen as grossly insensitive to the heritage of racial hatred which has burdened our country for far too long?" I get it. If one stands up to Obama for any reason, one is ipso facto a racist. Yawn.