Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Things I Have Been Tempted To Do In Homilies

(but haven't because I don't want to go to Camp Snoopy.)

1) Begin and end the homily by saying, "You are all going to Hell." (This wouldn't be true and certainly isn't the end I desire for my parishioners. )

2) Slam a large caliber handgun down on the pulpit without comment and proceed to give my homily. (In addition to Camp Snoopy, I really don't want to do time in the Utah State Prison for brandishing.)

3) Drive my radio controlled tank down the center aisle. (I just haven't been able to figure a way to even remotely connect this to the homily.)

(BTW: Camp Snoopy is a euphemism for any of the places clergy are sent when they have "problems".)
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