Again?

The TV just told me, with breathless concern, that Brittney Spears has been hospitalized again. While I certainly hope she gets better (and remembers how to dress herself), I also can't help but echo the immortal words of my late grandfather--WHO GIVES A RAT'S A**.

Book Meme

The Tara-rist has tagged me with the Book Meme. Here goes.

1) Which book do you irrationally cringe away from reading, despite seeing only positive reviews? Any philosophical treatise by John Paul II. I know, heresy. But, phenomenology and existentialism give me headaches


2) If you could bring three characters to life for a social event (afternoon tea, a night of clubbing, perhaps a world cruise), who would they be and what would the event be? (Assuming that these characters are fictional.) Patrick O'Brien's Dr. Stephen Maturin (since he would bring his friend Captain Jack Aubrey, I would get two for the price of one), Bram Stoker's Dr. Abraham van Helsing, and Tolkein's Elrond. This would be for a nice eight course dinner followed by Port and Cigars.

3) (Borrowing shamelessly from the Thursday Next series by Jasper Fforde): you are told you can’t die until you read the most boring novel on the planet. While this immortality is great for a while, eventually you realise it’s past time to die. Which book would you expect to get you a nice grave? I have to agree with Tara, The Book of Mormon--the most boring fictional novel ever written.

4) Come on, we’ve all been there. Which book have you pretended, or at least hinted, that you’ve read, when in fact you’ve been nowhere near it? I used to say War and Peace, but I buckled down and read it when I was in Mexico studying Spanish and suffering with Giardia.

5) You’re interviewing for the post of Official Book Advisor to some VIP (who’s not a big reader). What’s the first book you’d recommend and why? Nonfiction: Burke's Reflection on the Revolution in France. (It helped get my head on straight regarding politics.) Fiction: The Lord of the Rings. Great story, characters, and ideas.

6) A good fairy comes and grants you one wish: you will have perfect reading comprehension in the foreign language of your choice. Which language do you go with? Greek. A good fairy is the only way I could learn a language written in funny letters.

7) A mischievous fairy comes and says that you must choose one book that you will reread once a year for the rest of your life (you can read other books as well). Which book would you pick? St. Augustine's City of God.

8) I know that the book blogging community, and its various challenges, have pushed my reading borders. What’s one bookish thing you ‘discovered’ from book blogging (maybe a new genre, or author, or new appreciation for cover art-anything)? Nothing really.

9) That good fairy is back for one final visit. Now, she’s granting you your dream library! Describe it. Is everything leather bound? Is it full of first edition hardcovers? Pristine trade paperbacks? Perhaps a few favourite authors have inscribed their works? Go ahead-let your imagination run free. Some Victorian monstrosity with rolling ladders to get to the higher shelves. Overstuffed comfy leather chairs. Oh, and a kick-ass stereo.

I tag all those readers who do not kick puppies. (You don't kick puppies do you?)

Dexter Explains The Mass

Jesterius Magnus reports that, in a parish in Baton Rouge, Dexter is explaining the Mass to children and, one weekend, to the whole parish. When I first glanced at the text, I thought, "WTH? A vigilante serial killer is explaining the Mass? Obviously, someone has been eating spiked jambalaya." OK, so it wasn't the titular character from Showtime's sick but highly entertaining crime drama, it was a sock puppet. In retrospect, I think I would rather have TV's Dexter commenting on the Mass.

Seriously, this is an act of solemn worship people. Heaven is touching Earth and God Himself is with us. There is no room here for puppets, clowns, mimes, bongos, Dancing Daughters of Penelope, or any of the other crap the Liturinazis have been subjecting the innocent to for the last 40 years.

The Kaiser's Birthday (Part Zwei)

Video of the Kaiser's home and tomb in exile in Doorn, The Netherlands.

The Kaiser's Birthday

Born 27 January 1859. (I know. I am two days late.)

United 300 (wrong but funny).

(Zuccetto spin to The SciFi Catholic.)

Top 2007 Headlines

(Zuccetto Spin to Trina. Whether real or no, they are funny.)

--Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says. (No, really?)

--Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers. (Now that's taking things a bit far!)

--Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over. (What a guy!)

--Miners Refuse to Work after Death. (No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-sos!)

--Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant. (See if that works any better than a fair trial!)

--War Dims Hope for Peace. (I can see where it might have that effect!)

--If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile. (Ya think?!)

--Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures. (Who would have thought!)

--Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide. (They may be on to something!)

--Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges. (You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?!)

--Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge. (He probably IS the battery charge.)

--New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group. (Weren't they fat enough?!)

--Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft. (That's what he gets for eating those beans!)

--Kids Make Nutritious Snacks. (Do they taste like chicken?)

--Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half. (Chainsaw Massacre all over again!)

--Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors. (Boy, are they tall!)

--Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Greetings From Stinky Town

Greetings from the great unwashed!
News Item:

Water Main break closes 4 schools, leaves 4,000 without water
January 25th, 2008 @ 10:00pm
Four thousand Ogden homes are still without water tonight because of a water main break last night. The water service is out from 12th Street to the north city limits east of Monroe Boulevard.
The water will probably start flowing sometime tomorrow, but it's probably only going to be water you can use to flush your toilets. Crews have to flush the old pipes out, and drinking water probably won't be available for affected residents until Sunday, and for some residents, Monday. Crews are working to fix the break at the mouth of Ogden Canyon. (Click Here to Read the Rest)

I am right in the middle of this.

Heretic Whisperer World Tour

The Cave-dwelling Papist has posted one of his BEST IDEAS EVER! It seems that CCM is applying the methods of Ceasar Milan to heretics. Click here to read. (However, make sure you cover your computer with plastic if you are drinking anything.) I am thinking that we should sponsor a Heretic Whisperer trip to the LA Religious Education Congress.

Over My Dead, Burnt, and Bleeding Body

This would be my reply if I were ever asked to send catechists to the annual Los Angeles Religious Education Congress held in Anaheim. Not only does it educate for liturgical non-sense(check the web in early March for picture of the latest liturgical hippie jam bands and accompanying Dancing Daughters of Penelope), but, and far more importantly, the speakers and topics are almost all atrocious. Take a look at the speaker list. We have: Scott Appleby of Notre Dame, a perennial Call to Action shill; Fr. Gerald Coleman, former rector of St. Patrick's Seminary, and noted dissenter from the Church's teaching of homosexual behavior; another failed seminary rector Donald Cozzens; Fr. Michael Crosby, Franciscan dissenter from Milwaukee; the comedy team of Sr. Fran Ferder and Fr. John Heagle (I was once present at a conference where they decried the evils of hetero-sexism and suggested that we talk to genitalia); Goddess worshipper and foe of recording devices Edwina Gateley; musical vandals Haaugen and Haas; Fr. Brian Massingale, supporter of Gay Marriage (must not make fun of name, must not make fun of name); Timothy Radicliffe OP (and NUT) former Dominican Master General and heretic; and Fr. Ronald Rollheiser, writer of vacuous columns for Catholic papers. Those are just the ones whose names I recognized. The question is why are these people being invited and paid to educate catechists? Obviously, because the powers that be want to propagate their views.

Unfortunately, by attending and sponsoring attendance, many dioceses and parishes are making sure that next year we will be getting more of the same. Until and unless the speakers' list and liturgies are cleaned up, don't go and don't help anyone else go. Even if you don't believe the nonsense spewed and stick to the minimum number of good speakers (I admit I would like to hear the Everts and John Allen), the crap is being supported by your registration fees and attendance.

Terry hit the nail on the head

Terry at Abbey Roads 2 hit the nail on the head with this post on vocations and Same Sex Attraction Disorder. Do yourself a favor and read it.

On another matter, keep me in your prayers as I speak on "The Importance of Being Orthodox" at Immaculate Heart Bookstore in Draper, Utah at 7:00 pm tonight.

More Weird Al Spam

(As a matter of fact, I like spam.)

Does This Mean...

CWN Reports,

Iranian film to offer Muslim view of Jesus
Teheran, Jan. 14, 2008
(CWNews.com) - Iranian filmmakers are preparing a movie on the life of Christ, as seen from an Islamic perspective.
Jesus, God's Spirit is based upon the teachings of the Qur'an, which honors Jesus as a prophet but does not recognize Him as the Son of God. Director Nader Talebzadeh boasts that the completed film will be "better than Mel Gibson's Passion"
Irani's President Mahmud Ahmadinejad is honorary patron of the film, which has a $50 million budget, the largest in the history of Iranian cinematography.

Does this mean that we will soon be seeing a film on this life of the heresiarch Mohammed from a Catholic perspective? Didn't think so.

A Sentence of Truth from Father Z.

In a post concerning Pope Benedict celebrating Mass ad orientam on the high altar in the Sistine Chapel, The Famous Fr. Z make the following comment,

I contend that more damage was done by turning around the orientation of Mass than perhaps any single other change.

This is truth in a nutshell. Intended or not, psychologically, Mass versus populus gives the impression that all the word are directed to the congregation instead of God. This not only affects the congregation but also the celebrant. The only remedy that I have found to this is our new altar crucifix. It has the effect of Our Lord saying to me, "Hey Erik! Remember what this is all about." God willing this will be soon remedied in the Novus Ordo.

Over-the-wall Archbishop Sighting

Thanks to Spirit Daily, the following CNS news story is pointed out to us.

Italian priest denies Communion to excommunicated Archbishop Milingo
ROME (CNS) -- At the start of a visit to Italy, excommunicated Archbishop Emmanuel Milingo was denied Communion when he attended a Mass at a local parish church near Naples. The former Zambian archbishop and his wife, Maria Sung, attended an early evening Mass at a local church in Pompeii Jan. 10, one day after his arrival in Italy from South Korea. When the archbishop approached the celebrant -- Father Francesco Soprano -- he refused the Eucharist to the archbishop, who then reportedly blessed the celebrant and lightly touched his head, according to Italian media reports. Archbishop Milingo, who was married in a Unification church ceremony in 2001, was excommunicated by the Vatican in 2006 for illicitly ordaining married men. While he is excommunicated, the archbishop cannot receive the Eucharist or any sacrament of the church. The 77-year-old former archbishop of Lusaka was to be in Italy Jan. 9-27 to promote a new book, meet with supporters of his U.S.-based Married Priests Now! movement, and attend to various medical visits.

I would like the following comments:
First, Maria Sung is not his wife. Unless, granted a rescript of laicization a cleric cannot enter a valid marriage. The Looney Tool of the Moonies has not been laicized, hence Maria Sung is his concubine. Calling her his wife only serves to legitimize this nut-job.
Second, major kudos to Fr. Soprano! (It would be cool if his given name were Antonio.) Would that we had more priests with his integrity regarding the Sacrament. (I have a dream of Teddy Kennedy coming up in the Communion Procession....)
Finally, if the Tool had tried to bless me, I would have decked him. Fr. Soprano is obviously much holier than I am.

All Thanks to Max Brooks

71%

Possible New Blog Feature

Between the cabin fever and answering upteen zillion calls about whether or not there is CCD tonight, I have been inspired to consider adding a new feature to the blog. Let's call it "Earworm Theater". Whenever I get an earworm, it will play in the background of the blog. (If I have it, so should you!) Let me know what you think by voting in Orthometer Poll #2.

New Header

Hmmm, image doesn't quite fit. I'll bet Vincenzo could fix it up for me. Hint. Hint.

Snow Day!

Utah is in the grips of a major winter snow storm! I had one, count em, one physical person other than myself at Mass. (Gold star to Tara, the Loved Sinner.) The offices will be closed today. So it looks like Katiedog and I will be watching lots of TV today.

(Thanks to Vincenzo for the updated pic.)

Frank's 2000 inch TV

NEWS ITEM (7 January 2008)

LAS VEGAS (Reuters) - Japanese electronics maker Sharp Corp will begin selling a 108-inch LCD television later this year, executives told the Consumer Electronics Show on Sunday.

Executives also said at a news conference that Sharp had developed a prototype 65-inch liquid crystal display TV that was just over 1 inch thick and weighed 23 percent less than previous models.

The Night Santa Went Crazy

(NOT appropriate for small children or squeamish adults.)

No Name Meme

Stolen from BMP at CV. (Hey, he stole it from someone else.)

1. Do you wear a name tag at work? No! I hate name tags. Under "Hi my names is", I always want to write "No of your business"
2. What kind of car do you drive? A V-6 Saturn Vue. SUV baby! Take that you green weenie!
3. What do you order when you go to Taco Bell? 5 soft tacos and 5 bean burritos with green sauce.
4. Have you ever had a garage sale? Yes, but I prefer not to talk about it.
5. What color is your iPod? White
6. What kind of dog do you have? English Bulldog.
7. What's for dinner tonight? Nutrisystem granola bar.
8. What is the last alcoholic beverage you had? Beer, nice dark beer. (If you don't count the altar wine I used for the first ablution of the sacred vessels.
9. Stupidest thing you ever did with your cell phone? Let my dog eat it.
10. Last time you were sick? The Christmas Kermit possession.
11. How long is your hair? Not very.
12. Are you happy right now? Why not.
13. What did you say last? Hey Katie! Time for dinner.
14. Who came over last? Homeless guy wanting a hand out.
15. Do you drink beer? Yes, it is required by my religion in Utah.
16. Have your brothers or sisters ever told you that you were adopted? Only child so I missed that fun.
17. What is your favorite key chain on your keys? Umm, a metal ring.
18. What did you get for graduation? Which time?
19. Whats in your pocket? Wallet, keys, pen, and a folding knife.
20. Who introduced you to Dane Cook? I didn't know Danes could cook.
21. Has someone ever made you a Build-A-Bear? No.
22. What DVD is in your DVD player? Monster Squad.
23. What's something fun you did today? Killed a passel of commies playing World in Conflict.
24. Who is/was the principal of your high school? We had a principal?
25. Has your house ever been TP'd? No.
26.What do you think of when you hear the word "meow"? Congestion.
27. What are you listening to right now? Forensic Files on the TV.
28. Drinking? Nothing.
29. What is your favorite aisle at Wal-Mart? DVDs
30. When is your mom's birthday? June 22nd.
31. When is your birthday? June 2nd.
32. What's the area code for your cell phone? 801
33. Where did you buy the shirt you're wearing now? Clothing sales, Hill AFB.
34. Is there anything hanging from your rear view mirror? No.
35. How many states in the US have you been to? Lots.
36. What kind of milk do you drink? Skim.
37. What are you going to do after this? Kill more commies on World in Conflict.
38. Who was the last person you went shopping with? Mom.
39. What is your favorite fruit? Peaches.
40. What about your favorite dessert? Bread Pudding.
41. What is something you need to go shopping for? A big screen plasma TV. Yes, I NEED one!
42. Do you have the same name as one of your relatives? No. Thank you mom and dad!
43. What kind of car does one of your siblings drive? Only child.
44. Do you like pickles? Yes I like pickles. They go great with my cheesy poofs.
45. How about olives? Yes.
46. What is your favorite kind of gum? No gum! Gum is evil! Don't let me catch you with gum in the church!
47. What is your favorite kind of juice? Cranberry.
48. Do you have any tan lines? I wear a cassock.
49. What hospital were you born in? The old hospital in Cedar City.

Everyone who loves Jesus is tagged. You do love Jesus don't you?

Godson and Cool Star Wars Cake

Here is my junior godson Grady and his uber cool Star Wars: Episode 3 cake. (Yes, that is me wearing a custom Three Stooges Hawaiian Shirt.)

Who's Your Daddy?

Little children, let no one deceive you. He who does right is righteous, as He is righteous. He who commits sin is of the devil; for the devil has sinned from the beginning. The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the works of the devil. No one born of God commits sin; for God's nature abides in him, and he cannot sin because he is born of God. By this it may be seen who are the children of God, and who are the children of the devil: whoever does not do right is not of God, nor he who does not love his brother. (1 John 3: 7-10)

So, now you know how to choose. Who's your daddy?

"So, how was Rome?"

I have gotten that question about a zillion times since returning from our pilgrimage last month. The short answer is great. How could a trip to the Eternal City not be?

There were, however, two things I did not like:

1) All the #$%#$ Graffiti! It seems that Gangsta 'culture' has been exported to Italy. There is gang style graffiti everywhere. If this is what we send out to the rest of the world, may God help us! I have often thought that spray paint should be banned--period.

2) Odd decoration of altars. What is with placing two candles on one side of the altar and a freakin potted plant on the other? Asymmetry is bad, mmmkay? But a feakin potted plant? These are churches not fern bars. And don't get me started about beautiful baroque churches with beautiful high altars and incredibly ugly and unnecessary 'people's' altars.

Star Wars meets Monty Python

Watching Monks In Their Native Habitat

For several months, Mount Angel Abbey has had the Tower Cam which showed the construction of the new bell tower for the abbey church. (A fine bell tower it is. It fits seamlessly with the architecture of the abbey.) For Christmas they have added the Tree Cam which shows the interior of the church.

Final Dave Update

Dave is home with his wife and kids!