Friday, September 19, 2008

Greetings From Behind The Avocado Curtain.

First stop in the granola bowl is Apple Valley visiting my friends the Qs from Catholic Caravans. I am staying with them at their house down the street Roy Roger's place. Roy and Dale passed away a few years ago and their museum with the stuffed Trigger was moved to Branson, MO.

Next stop: Little Saigon and my friend the ginger priest Joey D..

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Crossing The Border.

I am leaving today for the People's Republic of Kalifornia to visit some friends and then go one retreat at that island of orthodoxy in the sea of fruits, nuts, and flakes; the Sacred Heart Retreat Center in Alhambra. The retreat master is Fr. Benedict Groeschel CFR.

In-N-Out here I come!

(PS The Digi needs to email me.)

It's Not Whether You Win, But How Long You Last.

I could survive for 1 minute, 25 seconds chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor

(Zuccetto Spin to the Roman Sacristan.)

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Where Are You?

Spore is out! Must play Spore! Must conquer space. (And do my other work too.)

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

What-Where-When Meme.

Stolen from Karen the Gem of San Diego Bay.

1. President Kennedy's Assassination - 22 November 1963

I was about a year and a half from existence

2. England's World Cup Semi Final v Germany - 4 July 1990

I was in Cuernavaca, Mexico suffering from a wonderful Giardia infection. Not being a soccer fan, I just remember that everything ground to a halt when there was a World Cup game on. On this day however, the language school had a Fourth of July Party for us gringos. They served Muppetos (tequilla shooters with 7-Up).

3. Margaret Thatcher's resignation - 22 November 1990

This was the first semester of my second year of theology. This means that I was studying my buttocks off for Fr. Jeremy's Liturgical Theology class. What were those psycho Brits thinking? They should have kept her forever.

4. Princess Diana's death - 31 August 1997

Second year of my first pastorate. Remember thinking to myself, "So? It is sad when anyone dies before their time, but it isn't like she was Mother Theresa." I still can't understand her deification.

5. Attack on the twin towers - 11 September 2001

I was doing my morning blogcrawl before Mass, when the sister who worked for me called and asked whether or not I had the TV on. I didn't but when I did, I was floored. All I could think of was the Tom Clancy novel where the airliner was crached into the Capital. After saying Mass rather shell-shocked, I spent the rest of the day watching the tube and waiting for the Air Force Reserve call up that never came.

6. The election of Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger to the papacy - 19 April 2005

Sitting at my desk listening to EWTN and playing World of Warcraft. (Yes, I know I am a geek.) When they said that the bells were going off, I went and got the ladies from the office. All the time I was waiting, I was praying for either Ratzinger or Arinze. When he came out on the balconey, I shouted, "YES!" Then I called my Italian Monsignor friend and told him the two words he had previously poo-pooed, "German Pope."

If I Could Ghostwrite For Sarah.

You may have heard how Sarah P. is under investigation for ordering the firing of her state trooper ex-brother-in-law. This is how I would have her respond to this issue:

Ladies and Gentlemen of the press, I did not order the firing of Mike Wooten because he is my ex-brother-in-law. I ordered his firing because he drove his squad car while drunk and tried to tasser my 11-year-old nephew. I enjoyed ordering his dismissal because he is my ex-brother-in-law.