in the never-ending battle against the skate-punks.
They never quit. Each year we have several hundred dollars in vandalism by the little SOBs. Put bumps on the rails, they come and grind them off. Video surveillance, the disable the cameras. And if they get hurt, guess who is liable. Add to this the fact the we are not responsible for providing entertainment for them. The other day the Tara-rist had to run off two carloads of the little @#$@s.
Well no more! As no one has provided me with a mini-Predator drone, I have decided to develop my own skate-punk trap based on that most useful and entertaining device, the backyard bug-zapper. Of course, it needs to be altered for the new target. First, it must be larger. I think 6 feet tall with do. Second, bright light won't attract them. So instead, we will use a pony keg and a couple of cases of red bull. Third, the voltage needs to be ramped up--220 v. should do.
16 comments:
How about a noise emitter keyed to the frequencies of their i-Pods, something similar to those squawk boxes you can use on telemarketers? Send a high pitched shrilly tone at tremendous volume directly into their heads.
Maybe something similar to the pest repellers. We could play classical music all the time.
Some grocery stores put a disabling mechanism on the shopping cart wheels in some of the stores in the East. When the shopping cart passes a certain point, a radio device disables the tires--and the thiefs are no longer able to roll the carts away.
They should make it mandatory to place such a disabling device on all skateboard wheels and then when they enter into a "restricted--no skate board zone" the wheels could become disabled--but until then, me, and my super corgi Stella will chase as many away as we can!
LarryD is actually on to something. Try one of those Mosquito devices:
http://www.compoundsecurity.co.uk/index.html
It emits a high frequency sound that is supposed to be obnoxious, but you can't hear it if you're over thirty (I'm 27 and I can't hear it, but my 26 year old wife says it's awful).
Bonus: Wikipedia shows that the UK is discussing whether it's a human rights violation to play these things outside, as they don't discriminate among youth. Your skateboard posers will hear it, as will your young parishioners (although maybe you could turn it off during peak hours). Who would have thought that NOT discriminating could be a human rights violation?
Actually, after reading the Mosquito's website, it seems like the perfect solution to your problem (I can't find any prices, so it might be prohibitively expensive; I suppose that would disqualify it from being "the perfect solution").
Anyway, it apparently has a pretty short range (15-20 meters), so it shouldn't bother the whole neighborhood over 25. Also, it takes about 10 minutes for it to be annoying, so youth just coming in and out of your building shouldn't be bothered. You can also get a security cage to protect it against vandalism.
Or you could always just shoot them. Either way.
At least your not planning a chemical defense!
Deacon Scottie Evil -- No, chemicals are too unpredictable especially with all the winds up here.
Others--You are missing the point. While you suggestions might work, they aren't nearly as entertaining as the zapper. (Anyone who has spent a lazy evening drinking beer and watching the demise of insects knows this to be true.)
We used to have something like this to kill raccoons that would destroy our corn crop. Scarily effective.
In the same vein, the father of a family friend used to hate trick-or-treaters, so he would flood his front lawn with a few inches of water and then have diodes on either side of the path, connected to an old Model T generator, which he would crank up when anyone approached the front door. A very funny crusty old man.
Father: You should market your device to librarians. Public libraries are frequent "playgrounds" for this crowd.
"Anyone who has spent a lazy evening drinking beer and watching the demise of insects..."
YESSSS!!! Then you've gotta blast out some Queen: "Another one bites the dust!"
I still like my pea-gravel plan. Just think of it as "sk8rz stigmata"
Oooh! One from the Beloved:
Magnetic rails.
Wheels stick, bodies fly!
Fr Erik - you're right, I missed the point on the entertainment value. I have a friend who had mole problems in his backyard - so he would flatten the mole tunnels, sit back in the evening with a beer in his hand and a tamper nearby. When he saw the tunnels start to form again, STOMP with the tamper. Not technologically advanced, but apparently entertaining.
I used to work at a convenience store, and we had similar skaters. We used to spread kitty litter all the way along the curb so they couldn't grind on it. They ended up bringing brooms with them.
I just can't believe how hard they're willing to work at being a pain.
Hey, I like it. Fr. John Boyle used to be an electrical engineer .. let him know if you get stuck with any of the circuitry. If you two patent this together, you could both make a mint and have a nice retirement nest egg on the side, selling said device to other pastors world wide. [I dunno, maybe in some parts of the world the "skate punks" hold spear throwing contests in the parking lot, but you can tailor this for ethnic groupings.[
Of course, you can get rid of the little basserds just as soon if you hook up an outdoor sound system and play classical music. It gets rid of them at the 7/11.
I'm for just shooting them! Simple and quick...
LOL!!!
If you really want to get rid of them, just pump some religious music out to the area, not to loud, maybe monks chanting. If it doesn't scare them off, it will relax them to the point of not wanting to skate.
LOL
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