Saturday, February 23, 2008

The Red Menace Reveals His True Nature

(And, no, I don't mean Fidel Castro.) story via Spiritdaily--

Report: Elmo Doll Threatens to Kill Toddler
Friday, February 22, 2008

Elmo has a dark side, one Florida family says.
It sounds like something the talking doll Chucky from the movies might say: "Kill James!" Instead, a Florida family says the threat to their toddler is coming from a talking Elmo doll.
The Bowman family, of Lithia, Fla., said an Elmo doll belonging to their 2-year-old son, James, began to spout death threats towards him after they changed its batteries, reports.
The Elmo Knows Your Name Doll started saying "Kill James!" in a sing-song voice, the site reports.
"It's not something that really you would think would ever come out of a toy," James' mother, Melissa, told the site. "But once I heard, I was just kind of distraught."
The toy's manufacturer, Fisher-Price, said it will issue the Bowmans a voucher for a replacement doll, reports.
For those of you who remember the Bert is Evil site, it seems that the torch of Muppet malice has been passed. Forget Teletubbies, this is the face of pre-school evil.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Nominate Me! (Or Else!)

The 2008 Catholic Blog Awards are open for nominations until noon on Friday, February 29. Last year, I tried to be gracious and point out all the other good blogs to nominate. NOT THIS YEAR! This year is all about me, baby. So nominate me for everything, even what I am not qualified for. Why should you? 1) I am a priest 2) I am better armed than many small countries 3) I know how to make napalm 4) I am descended from Holy Roman Emperor Heinrich the Fowler.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Remember Children,

Commie ain't cool!

(Zuccetto spin to Cafeteria Gerald for yet another reason I am not part of the Obama-nation.)

Name Meme (Part 1).

Karen the Gem tagged me with the name meme. Unfortunately, I have three middle names; the one I was given at birth as well as my baptismal and confirmation names. I will post each one.

Here are the rules:

1. You have to post the rules before you give your answers.
2. You must list one fact about yourself beginning with each letter of your middle name. (If you don't have a middle name, use your maiden name or your mother's maiden name).
3. At the end of your blog post, you need to tag one person for each letter of your middle name. (Be sure to leave them a comment telling them they've been tagged.) [OK, I am going to ignore this one. Don't want to make peeps angry before the Catholic Blog Awards.]

Middle Name #1 is John. (This was also my dad's middle name.)

J-June, the month during which I was born. (Three weeks late BTW.)
O-Orthometer, the name of this blog. (So, a cheap and easy answer.)
H-Harriette, the name of the parakeet I owned as a child. (Her mate was Seymour. Don't let children name pets!)
N-Nautical, hey I own a sailboat and live in the middle of the desert.

Road Adventures With Gunny.

Tuesday, I left Ogden around Noon to travel over to Grand Junction, CO to pick up GSgt. Leonides Horatio Freiherr von Richtsteig (aka Gunny). The trip itself was uneventful. (Except for a brief stop in Carbon County to arrange for the making of prints of our icon of Our Lord, S. Mary Magdalene, and S. James the Just and too brief visits with some good friends.) On Wednesday, I poked around Grand Junction. It seems like a nice town and their Museum of the West rocks. I picked up Gunny from his Breeders--very nice folks and expected to be at my mom's in Salt Lake around 6:30 pm. Gunny travels very well. All was well until we hit the US 6 death highway between Helper and Spanish Fork. (One of the 10 most dangerous highways in the US and in my former parish of St. Anthony's.) The snow was coming down very heavy and all of a sudden traffic ground to a halt for about 4 hours due to a Semi wreck. Even after this, traffic into Salt Lake averaged about 20 mph on the Interstate. I ended up hitting mom's about Midnight.

Katiedog and Gunny are getting along very well and he checks out well with the vet. I think I need a nap now.

Caption Contest

Ever since her parents stepped out on the national stage, I have felt sorry for Chelsea. (After all, she does have Bill and the Hildebeast as parents.) But, now she is working to elect her mother, so off come the gloves.

I am thinking something like, "Chelsea caught in the act of using alien mind powers on a super delegate."

(Zuccetto spin to JBarnzo)

Monday, February 11, 2008

Thursday, February 07, 2008

Well, I Sorta Look Like Him.

Which Character From The Office Are You?

Somehow, I don't think this is good.

For Those Who Think I Was Too Harsh About The LA Congress

Read this article from the California Catholic Daily

Mostly the same old line-up
What to expect at this year’s Los Angeles Religious Education Congress

“Lift Your Gaze … See Anew,” is the theme for this year’s (Feb. 28-March 2) Los Angeles Religious Education Congress. Though sponsored by the Los Angeles archdiocese, the congress, held yearly in Anaheim, has become notorious for its offering of speakers who openly dissent from Church teaching. This year’s speakers include Richard Gaillardetz and Scott Appleby, who both have expressed doubts about the binding authority Pope of John Paul II’s 1995 declaration, Ordinatio Sacerdotalis, that said the Church hasn’t the authority to ordain women. The claim that the document was infallible because it expresses the universal and ordinary magisterium is problematic, said Gaillardetz in a 1996 Louvain Studies article, since, in his view, the pope was not teaching in union with the bishops. In an interview with in the July 2002 U.S. Catholic, Appleby opined "that we are on the brink of sacrificing the Eucharist to the insistence on an all-male, celibate clergy. I wish we had a sufficient number of priests, but we clearly do not." As ever, this year’s congress will feature speakers associated with Call to Action, a group that dissents from Church teaching on homosexuality, women’s ordination, and contraception, among others. One of these speakers, Fr. Michael Crosby, at the 2006 congress decried the Church’s “clericalism, sexism, and heterosexism.” The Church, he said, has “unequal power relationships between lay and clerical castes, between women and men, between homosexual and heterosexual people. We have structured, institutionalized sexual apartheid, which is sinful!" Other Call to Action speakers featured at this year’s congress are Sister Fran Ferder and Sister Barbara Fiand. In 2002, Ferder told the National Catholic Reporter that, "central to a more inclusive, open system, is, of course, the need to welcome sacramental ministers from all lifestyles and both genders.” Another congress speaker this year, Fr. John Heagle (who with Ferder co-directs TARA -- Therapy and Renewal Associates -- in Seattle), told The Social that the Church needs to listen to the “love stories of all the people.” In the past, he said, moral theologians failed to listen “to the voices of married persons, single people, or the gay and lesbian community as well.” Megan McKenna returns to the congress this year. Self described as a “writer, theologian, storyteller, missionary,” McKenna has observed that bishops used Pope John Paul II “to push issues of sexuality, marriage, and issues related to birth/gender and abortion -- worthy causes, but in the light of the plight of the world, or the teachings of Jesus in the Scriptures, not the issues that we will be judged on if we are Catholics/Christians.” A workshop, “Is There Salvation Outside the Catholic Church? Are Other Churches ‘True’?” will be led by Fr. Alexei Smith, director of the Los Angeles archdiocese’s ecumenical office; Fr. John Bakas, dean of St. Sophia Greek Orthodox Cathedral in Los Angeles; and an Episcoplian, the Rev. Gwynne Guibord. Until 2002, Guibord was the ecumenical liaison officer for the Metropolitan Community Church, an openly homosexual group. When the MCC abolished her office in 2002, Guibord, who was in a "committed relationship" with another woman, approached Los Angeles Episcopal bishop John Bruno and became a postulant. Two years later, Bruno ordained Guibord a deacon; she was ordained an Episcopal priest in January 2005. The former rector of St. Patrick’s Seminary in Menlo Park, Fr. Richard Coleman, will address physician-assisted suicide at the congress. Though in the past Coleman has spoken in favor of the civil recognition of life-long homosexual relationships, his treatment of assisted suicide has been well in line with Church teaching. Addressing the subject of conscience, as well as euthanasia, will be Fr. Richard Benson, moral theology professor and academic dean at St. John’s Seminary in Camarillo. Benson’s articles, published in the Los Angeles archdiocesan newspaper, the Tidings, have displayed fidelity to Church teaching.

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

"Listen up, you Protestant Screwheads!"

"This is my BOOMSTICK!"
(Altered image courtesy of Vincenzo, of course.)

Monday, February 04, 2008

Ash Wednesday

(Zuccetto Spin to The Sci-Fi Catholic)

Priest Makes An Ash Of Himself, Details at 10:00.

It is that time of the year again. Time to burn the palms to make the ashes for Ash Wednesday (aka free stuff the Church gives out).

BTW I have great plans for this year's paschal fire that includes heavy duty wire mesh and cinder-blocks.

Also, click here for Angela M's contribution.

We Need MORE snow!

And this is why. All precipitation in this area eventually ends up in the Great Salt Lake. This covers the rocks and makes my little boat, and hence me, very happy. The more snow, the happier we are.

Friday, February 01, 2008

Blonde Is As Blonde Does.

Blonde's Year in Review
January--Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February--Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.....Helllloooo!!!.......bottles won't fit in printer !!!
March--Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....Box said '2-4 years!'
April--Trapped on escalator for hours .... Power went out!!!
May--Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions....8 cups ofWater won't fit into those little packets!!!
June--Tried to go water skiing.......couldn't find a lake with a slope.
July--Lost breast stroke swimming competition......learned later,The other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!
August--Got locked out of my car in rain storm.....Car swamped because soft-top was open.
September--The capital of California is 'C'.....isn't it???
October--Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.
November--Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days .. Instructions said 1 hourPer pound and I weigh 108!!December--Couldn't call 911 ..... 'duh'.....there's no 'eleven' button on the stupid phone!!!
THE BEST BLONDE JOKE OF THE YEAR - SO FAR:A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blondFemale neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.She opened it then slammed it shut & stormed back in the house. A little later she came out of her house again went to the mail box and Again, opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again,Marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, 'Is something wrong?' To which she replied, 'There certainly is!'My stupid computer keeps saying, 'YOU'VE GOT MAIL!'