Top 2007 Headlines

(Zuccetto Spin to Trina. Whether real or no, they are funny.)

--Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says. (No, really?)

--Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers. (Now that's taking things a bit far!)

--Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over. (What a guy!)

--Miners Refuse to Work after Death. (No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-sos!)

--Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant. (See if that works any better than a fair trial!)

--War Dims Hope for Peace. (I can see where it might have that effect!)

--If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile. (Ya think?!)

--Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures. (Who would have thought!)

--Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide. (They may be on to something!)

--Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges. (You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?!)

--Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge. (He probably IS the battery charge.)

--New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group. (Weren't they fat enough?!)

--Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft. (That's what he gets for eating those beans!)

--Kids Make Nutritious Snacks. (Do they taste like chicken?)

--Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half. (Chainsaw Massacre all over again!)

--Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors. (Boy, are they tall!)

--Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead