Monday, May 07, 2007

Behavior in church.

This morning I pounded my fist into a block wall a couple of times. (Dirty little secret: I have a very bad temper. I have only really lost it five times in my life, which is a very good thing.) I am fed up with the way some people are treating our new church. A few weeks ago a parent allowed their kid to draw on the baptismal font with purple crayon. After this weekend, we had to clean up crushed candy and punch off the floor and shoe and pen marks off the pew seats. I really want to hire a beadle. (A beadle was a church official that kept order by smacking offenders with a stick.) Alas, we have to settle with the following announcements in the bulletin.

Over the last month or so, several incidents have occurred that necessitate reiterating the obligation for each parishioner to work to keep our church clean and new. Parents have allowed children to draw on the baptismal font with crayons, to draw on the pew seats with pens, to walk on the pews with shoes, to litter the pews and floor with snacks, and spill drinks with no effort to clean up afterwards. Lest you think this is just a problem with careless parents, older people have used the kneelers as foot rests, failed to replace the missalettes and hymnals in the pew racks, and left their trash in the pews.
Our church is the house of God. It must be treated with care, reverence, and respect. (It is not a playground or a family room!) Please observe the following rules:
1-No gum is to be chewed in the church.
2-Silence cell phones before you enter the chapel.
3-Save conversations for the entrance area or the social hall.
4-Please do no let children draw in the church with pens, pencils, crayons, or markers.
5-If your small child must have a snack during, it is YOUR responsibility to clean up after them. Also, no snacks that are sticky or have the potential to stain.
6-Please no juice or milk in bottles. Water only in the church.
7-Don't let children walk on the pews wearing shoes or to stand with their shoes resting against the pew seats.
8-Kneelers are for kneeling. The are not footrests.
9-Straighten up your own pew before you leave. Replace books in the rack, take any trash with you, and leave the kneelers in the upright position.
All parishioners, please help us keep these rules. If you see someone who is out of line, please gently remind them of their obligations.


It is that time of the year again and it will, we hope, be getting warm again. Everyone wants dress comfortably, but we also need to show respect to God, His House, and one another. Our dress in church needs to be clean and modest. Unfortunately, many modern styles are anything but modest. Please avoid form fitting clothes, shirts which are too revealing or expose the belly or have inappropriate sayings or images, and short shorts or skirts (think Mormon shorts). Parents, please help your children with this.
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